Learning Curve
by Monnie32
Summary: Life doesn't come with an instruction manual it's a matter of taking the cards you are dealt and working with them, sometimes that makes you happy, other times sad...co-authored with Scintillating tart M/G pairing eventually- enjoy
1. Chapter 1

Learning Curve Chapter 1

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer: Hell no, we don't own anything to do with Criminal Minds. Sorry, too poor for that.

Not so disclaimer: This was co-written with Monnie32, and holy moly, it's fun to play with other people in a communal sandbox. (No comments from the peanut gallery, yo.)

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who dreamed of things like being married to a wonderful man, having lots of fat, happy babies with big smiles, and true love coming out her god-blessed ears. Then she grew up, kissed a lot of frogs (that didn't turn into princes), and found herself face-to-face with the most impossible situation on the planet:

Watching Kevin Lynch fall all over himself.

It was like watching a gazelle trying to take its last breath as the lion crushes it in its fierce jaws...yes...it was that bad!

When you are little, you have this notion of a fairytale romance, filled with prince charming being so uber romantic it is sickening, then you come face to face with the Kevin Lynch's of the world.

The worst part was that they were in the middle of a diner at 2 o'clock in the morning - and he thought it would behoove him to propose marriage. Marriage and greasy hash browns. Mmm, what a match made in heaven.

She didn't know whether she should pity him or laugh at him. The only thing that could've been worse was if he'd chosen a bag of take-away tacos from the 24-hour Mexican place and a couple of cans of Red Bull. Honestly, did the man even have a romantic bone in his body? Or did he really think that video games, greasy over-salted diner food, and energy drinks made up for not showing a girl how much you love her?

What was love, anyway? Was it staying put with someone who was comfortable for the sake of gliding through life easily? Was it opening yourself to new pains and suffering in the name of being with someone? Hell if she knew.

All she really knew was that, looking at Kevin Lynch on one knee on a greasy, nasty diner floor and their waitress standing there with her slice of French Silk pie, Penelope would've kissed the waitress and run like hell.

Her heart was in her throat. She was choking back tears. This was not how it was done, didn't he watch movies? I mean he could have done some research, there are videos for that sort of thing all over the internet, which she knew he was not a stranger to. There was probably even an App for it if he looked.

For all intensive purposes Kevin Lynch was a disappointment. He was in the bedroom, she got used to it not mattering; she even tried to spice it up and he botched that. She should have taken her first instinct to refuse him when he asked all those years ago, but she was raw, still raw from the Battle fiasco, mad at Derek for making her feel pitied. It seemed like the thing to do to make him jealous. Now she was stuck with him on a greasy floor in a diner asking him to marry her. If he asked her to buy the farm again she was sure she would deck him.

He was looking up at her expectantly, and she felt sick to her stomach. Confrontation was not her strong suit and all this would bring was yet another fight. She looked at the ring - which he'd probably been saving up to buy for the entire time they'd known one another - and felt terrible. But not terrible enough to say yes. She would not bully herself to say yes when it was all she could to do not to be disappointed in herself for letting it go this far for the sake of comfortability.

"Kevin, you're going to ruin your pants - you're kneeling in a puddle of grease," she said. "Get off the floor, okay?"

"Penny - you haven't answered me..." he whined.

She took a deep breath, pinched the bridge of her nose beneath her glasses, and said, "I can't marry you, Kevin."

"Am I seriously not good enough? I have put four- years into this relationship - four years. I could have went back to school and got a degree in that time - and I finally get the courage up to ask you to marry me - with not an ounce of help from Morgan, even though I asked - I asked Morgan for help proposing to you, Penny - Morgan! And you say no?"

Her head was spinning, how - now why - who does that? Who asks the best friend for help proposing? Sure some men might, but how many women have a guy as a best friend? A gorgeous chocolate adonis of a best friend who licking ice cream off of would be so much fun - FOCUS - Focus Penelope.

"I can't - I'm not ready for this - not now - I don't honestly know if I ever will be."

"Would you say yes if Morgan asked?" he spat.

"Kevin, I'm not ready for marriage, I wouldn't care if Prince William himself was doing the asking." Even though i am sure it would be far more romantic than this - probably a romantic adventure - maybe on one knee in the sand on a moonlight night - - Focus Penelope - focus!

"So what?" Kevin asked. "No one's ready for marriage -"

"You're not ready for marriage?" she challenged, feeling suddenly emboldened. "Then why are you asking me? Huh? Because that's what's expected of you when you reach a certain point in a relationship? Why can't we be an exception to the rule? I like having my own space and my own time to decompress from work - I don't want to spend my entire life beholden to someone because we happened to exchange vows and put on rings and said, 'oh, yes, we're together forever'. What the hell, Kevin? I told you already that I'm not ready for marriage - and I probably won't ever be." The words felt good to say - she wanted something temporary, transitory, much like herself. She didn't want to be tied down because once that happened, once her heart took root and flourished, something would happen and she'd be alone and wandering in the wilderness again.

The look on his face was enough to make her want to slap him senseless.

Her logic clearly just wasn't enough to appease him; and she didn't have answers for him that she could disassemble into nice little quantitative pieces that fit his worldview. No, she was a jumbled up mess of insecurities, fear, and all those things that kept her from just jumping into things like marriage - and she couldn't tell him that his tie didn't match his shirt which didn't match his shoes... and his fly had been open all night.

And he was still on the floor.

She grabbed her purse, pulled a $20 bill out of her wallet and handed it to the waitress, who was still hovering with the pie. "Keep the change," Penelope said, rushing into the night without another glance at Kevin.

The cold crisp air hurt. It hurt her lungs like she had been holding her breath for too long, maybe she had. She needed to clear her head, erase the events that took place tonight from her mind, she was sure that pure bleach couldn't do that justice. She just wanted to forget. Forget Kevin, forget the proposal and forget this night ever happened.

She really didn't even know where she was, Kevin had drove, said it was someplace special, oh special it was but he seemed to have a jaded view of the word, or maybe she did. She just wanted to go home, someplace nice and comfortable filled with her familiar things, as far away from that diner and Kevin Lynch as she could get until she figured things out.

She hailed a cab - luckily, there were still a few out and about. She gave the driver directions to her apartment and that was it for running. Once she was safely sequestered among her things, she finally broke down and cried herself to sleep.

When the alarm went off in the morning, she knew she was going to look like she'd partied hard and hung herself up to dry - and that was the frigging truth. It took much more time to clean up and put on makeup to hide her puffy eyes and sallow complexion than usual, and she didn't even feel like wearing something cute and sassy. So she put on a black skirt and a simple white top, plain black flats, and no jewelry. The last thing she needed was a reminder of the diamond that had been sparkling up at her and -

Penelope felt like she'd been hit by a brick wall.

A brick wall named Kevin Lynch.

She walked in with a purpose - to get to her office and evade everyone completely. That was until they caught a case, then she would have to step up to the plate and be her witty self and present the case and do her job. She just hoped they didn't need Kevin too, he was the last person she wanted to see.

She tucked herself into her office and busied herself turning things on.

She didn't even hear the door open.

"Hey Princess - how was.." she turned around. "Whoa - no offence baby girl, but you might want to get the number for the truck that just hit you."

"Thanks Derek, but I am fine."

"I know you are fine, baby girl, but today you are definitely not yourself. I don't even need to be a profiler to see that. Where are your wild colors, your huge shoes that make those legs looks so sexy under those fishnet tights and your jewelry that just makes that gorgeous chest of yours pop. - Huh, where is it all, what happened?"

"Nothing happened," she said. "Why do you automatically think something happened because I forgot to do laundry and just threw on what I had clean?" she snapped.

"Okay, okay," Derek said, putting his hands up in surrender. "You wanna talk about it, you know where to find me."

She sighed and muttered, "Kevin and I broke up for good last night - this morning. I think it was like four when I got to bed and the alarm went off at seven - but the point is that if you ever feel the urge to propose to someone in the middle of a greasy diner? Douse yourself in gasoline and set yourself on fire. It's less painful than your girlfriend walking out and catching a cab home."

Derek didn't even know what to say. How did he trump that. "First of all, I - would NEVER, I repeat - NEVER - propose in the middle of a greasy diner - not my style. It would be far better than that and you know it." He grinned. "Did he tell you his suggestion he threw at me for Tacos and Red Bull. I couldn't even dignify that with a comment, I just walked away." He shook his head.

Penelope was near tears. "Even that would have been better than this - not by much...but maybe a bit."

Derek took her into his arms. "Hey, I'm here for you, you know that, right?"

"I know - thanks." she sniffed wiping her face.

"Wanna come over tonight and watch a movie?" he asked. "Nothing like self-soothing with movies with explosions and -"

"You know, I think I just want to be alone for a couple of days," she said. "No offense to my best friend or anything - I just... need to be alone to process the fact that I just condemned myself to a life of singledom." Her smile wavered. "Maybe I should get a cat."

"Baby Girl," Derek said, "don't go making any hasty decisions - you don't know what's gonna come down the line. You could find some nice guy who comes in to change the water in the cooler or something - you never know."

She raised an eyebrow. "Really, Hot Stuff? Have you seen the water cooler guy?"

He grinned at her. "Nice to know your standards aren't slipping - after Lynch."

"They aren't slipping, handsome, but my radar is off right now." she frowned. "Maybe Emily had it right, her cat is affectionate, doesn't ask questions and doesn't complicate things."

He laughed, "I'm not sure a cat could keep you warm at night."

"I have an electric blanket." she retorted.

"What about carnal pleasure..." he grinned.

"What about it? I have fantasies and a little battery operated toy that says I don't need a man."

"Well okay then," he said. "But what about when all you want is a little -"

"You do realize this is bordering on sexual harassment, right?" she questioned slightly caustically. "I don't want to talk about it. I'm okay - just give me a couple of days to get over this and then I'll be fine."

"I don't want you bottling things up, Penelope," Derek said warningly.

"Oh, trust me - when I boil over, there will be no bottling anything up," she said pointedly. "I need to get to work, Sug."

"Want Chinese for lunch?"

"D, seriously - did I not just say I need a couple of days to get over this?" she sighed. "That doesn't mean bitching sessions with my best friend over Chinese at lunchtime. That means me and a box of chocolates, a pint of Imagine Whirled Peace, and a hella big pot of white trash mac & cheese just like Mom used to make."

He pouted. He hated seeing her hurt - he always had. She held a special part in his heart and when she was in pain - so was he, but he had to respect her wishes.

"If you need me - for anything - and I mean anything-" he said cheekily, "Call me, I'll be here." he said walking away.

She shook her head. Not that she never thought of him THAT way, who wouldn't after you took one look at him - but men were complicated, complicated creatures - yes that's what she was telling herself. Maybe it was time to try something different - maybe women would be easier?

At least then, there would be some relatability, right?

She sighed and shook her head. Less self-pity, more concentration on finding sick perverts.


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two

Derek counted the days. She'd said, "Give me a couple of days to get over this." A couple, by definition, was two - but two weeks later, she was still moping. They'd been working a lot, and he'd been in Phoenix with the team, but he didn't have to be present to know that his Baby Girl wasn't anywhere near being over what she'd finished with Lynch. And when they Skyped in the evenings, to say goodnight, he noticed how withdrawn and tired she looked.

And then, one night, she didn't answer his call. So he texted. And got a reply of, "Out and about." Same thing the next night. And the next.

He didn't care if she was lying or actually trying to catch some tail - the woman was going to pay up for ignoring him. Just as soon as the jet landed.

He had a plan all hatched, he just needed to put it into action. When they touched down he headed right over to her place, he needed to see her. It was one of those things, after a case, he needed to decompress and she was the only one who knew how to do that. Happily he knocked lightly and walked into her apartment.

"Hey baby girl," he hollered.

Turning the corner he was not sure how he was going to deal with what he saw.

"Whoa, sorry." He said hiding his face and then he realized she was not with another man, she was with a woman.

A grin came across his face, "You know...I could come play too."

"Oh handsome, don't you know three's a crowd." Penelope laughed. She had the brunette between her legs. "Oh fuck, that is amazing..." she purred. "What did you want handsome?"

"I'll call you - or perhaps you should call me." he said and walked out.

She watched him leave, feeling more than slightly flushed from both the fact that Lola was far too damn good at what she was doing and being embarrassed at Derek having walked in on them, well, not to put it too delicately - having sex.

Lola stopped and looked up at her with mirth-filled eyes. "Was that your ex?" she teased, kissing Penelope's thigh.

"I wish," Penelope snickered breathlessly. "No, that would be my best friend -"

"Oh."

"Don't say it like that - I'm allowed one," she replied testily. "He just happens to be big and burly and kicks down doors and is very much male."

"So you have never - you know - with him."

"Goodness no, he is not interested in me like that, he prefers the tall and skinny type."

"Penelope, don't take this the wrong way but if we would have agreed he would have joined us willingly."

"You are far more his type than me, he was probably interested in you, sometimes Derek is a dog."

"Whatever- but if I was not just into chicks he could be a fun toy to play with."

Penelope sighed, "I think I have given up on men."

"Well, more's the better for me," Lola replied cheerfully, gently pinching Penelope's thigh with a grin on her lips. "I'm glad you came to the bar that night."

Penelope cracked a smile. "Me, too," she said.

"Now, enough with the chatter," Lola murmured, kissing her way up Penelope's torso, finally landing a kiss on her lips. "You talk way too much."

XXXX

Derek could not believe that she was having sex with a woman. Weird sex things were more his style than hers, Lynch must have really done a number on her. He just wished he could fix it, make it better and maybe get himself some threesome action in the process.

He shook his head, knock it off Derek, this is not the way to get Penelope.

And of all the things he could have walked in on, Penelope being eaten out was not one of the handful he would have expected. That's not to say that he didn't find it extremely erotic, or that it wouldn't fuel his fantasies for months to come, but it was slightly disconcerting to think of his best friend that way. Even if he did want to be best friends - with benefits.

He just wasn't ready to make any kind of commitments - and Penelope was a forever type of girl. For god's sake, the Lynch fiasco played out over four and a half years. She wasn't the girl who could have one night of fantastic sex and walk away - she was the girl who would get her claws in you and never let go...

And, eventually, maybe, he'd want that. But even as it stood, he just wanted really badly to be the one between her thighs.

He decided that a drink was in order - no necessary, after all that he was in dire need of a good stiff one to continue to counteract the stiffy in his pants.

He could pine all night - take someone home from a bar to try to forget everything but it would all go back to seeing how she looked, all naked and spread out on the sofa with the woman - whose name he didn't know was lapping at her like it was a good meal.

Yup - a drink was in order - or a few dozen.

Hell, maybe he should just haul out that bottle of tequila Reid had given him for Christmas. That might help - or, rather, that which did not kill you would make you that much stronger. Like Spiderman and his spider bite.

Riiiiight - not exactly in the same league as killing your brain cells in order to forget just how fucking hot your best friend is. Because Penelope had been the star of entirely too many of his fantasies over the years, and knowing just how those shapely legs of hers actually looked might just break him completely. Tequila, a little salt - and screw the lime. He wanted to stop overthinking.

He wanted to stop thinking at all.

He opted to go home and bond with Jose. It was the easier option, he was afraid of what might happen if he got to a bar and got drunk. He would not be able to help himself. At least if he was home he would hopefully have the good sense to stay there.

Normally when things bothered him he would drink and then call her, she would work him though it, she always did, That, however, would not work for him this time. He wondered what Reid was doing. Perhaps he needed a new wing man.

But, then again, using Reid would probably backfire on him - Rossi was much more his speed. And the man had some skills in dealing with women; only three divorces, right? They couldn't all have been nightmare marriages.

Derek grunted and poured himself a shot of Cuervo - to Penelope and her girlfriend: may their relationship at least be better than her temporary insanity with Lynch. He slammed back the tequila and winced at the burn as it ran down his throat.

And then he wondered if his best friend was doing all of this for show.

It was a horrible thought, but she'd never shown a sexual interest in women before now. Was she re-molding herself because she was tired of -

Penelope, not unsub, he reminded himself.

This was going to be a long night - he thought as he downed another shot and shivered. Perhaps if he drank himself into oblivion it would make more sense. Oh who was he kidding? He should be happy she found someone, it was easier to stomach that she was with a woman than her being with Lynch, If he had walked in on her having sex with Lynch, with his head between those fine thighs, with his hands squeezing that amazing ass - Ok Derek, think of something else, anything else besides her - this was already shaping up to be not only a long night but a lonely one too.

He was about ready to pour another shot when his phone started buzzing. Who the hell...? He looked at the caller ID and cursed internally. "Penelope," he answered, "now is not the best time -"

"I think I owe you at least an explanation -"

"You don't owe me anything," he said, pouring that shot. "I should've called before I came over."

She coughed. "So, um - are we good?"

He sighed and lifted the shotglass to his lips. "Amazing, Baby Girl," he lied through his teeth before he drank it, praying that the tequila would knock him out before he did something stupid. "Now, you go back to that gorgeous girlfriend of yours and have a good night, okay?"

"Do you maybe want to come over for dinner one day next week so you can formally meet her?"

Derek didn't want to say yes, but didn't want to say no either.

"Sure, long as we're not on case i would love to meet her, has anyone else met her yet?"

"Nope, just you. I will let you know what day works best. Sleep tight handsome."

"You too, baby girl."

As soon as he hung up the phone, he realized that the sinking, gnawing, angry feeling in the pit of his stomach was jealousy - and he didn't like it one bit. Derek was so wrapped up in coveting what wasn't his that he'd forgotten what was his: a friendship with the most incredible woman he'd ever known. He didn't need his dick getting in the way.

Despite the fact that Penelope Garcia was everything he'd ever wanted - and more.

He poured another shot, and begged whatever gods might be listening to grant him the strength to stand by her side and watch her be happy. He also prayed for oblivion and for Kevin Lynch's dick to shrivel up and fall off, but those were more selfish requests on his part.

Every time he closed his eyes all he saw was her legs white and muscled swapped around her head. That would make for some new dirty fantasies on his part.

Taking the last shot of tequila he downed it and stumbled off to bed.

XXXX

Penelope walked in with her coffee, same as usual, but Derek was nowhere to be found. She frowned; it wasn't like him to miss the chance to flirt and ask how she was this fine, rainy morning. Maybe the weather had been an omen of things to come for the day?

"So, we're all going out tonight," Emily was saying, "but Morgan already said Garcia probably has plans, so -"

"I do," Penelope said, walking up to them. "But nothing I can't work around. What time?"

JJ cleared her throat. "Eight at the usual place."

Penelope nodded. "Yeah, my plans aren't till later."

"Later?" Emily prompted with a smirk. "Really, now? Dish, PG."

"There's nothing to dish -"

"Please tell me you and Lynch aren't back together," JJ said, wrinkling her nose.

"Oh no! I'd NEVER go back to that, I have moved on."

"Morgan?" Emily questioned.

"Um no - but I do have a girlfriend."

"Did you just say you have a girlfriend?"

Penelope nodded walking away. She retreated to her office and closed the door, knowing that there would be a barrier between her and the rest of the world - and, for once, she was fine with that. She was still adjusting to life in the other lane and she felt a little bit conspicuous and more than slightly on display after last night - but how was she supposed to know that Morgan was going to come over and catch them fooling around on the couch?

Worse yet, she'd felt like a teenager getting caught by her parents. Oh, yes, she went there. Morgan was like that overprotective daddy who was just as likely to shoot her suitor in the face as to actually let her date someone in peace. Well, forget that - she had her big girl panties on (fuck me panties - the kind that were little more than stretch lace) and she could do whatever she damn well pleased, with or without his approval.

Though why she cared what he thought, aside from him being her best friend, she really didn't know. If all he was going to do was be counterproductive to her happiness, what kind of a friend was that?

She got up and locked the door, she wanted to work in peace and not have to answer millions of questions. They were sure going to want to interrogate her, but she didn't want to have to deal with that right now.

Her phone went off, x how are you doing? need someone to talk to? x

x I am fine, handsome, I am a big girl, remember. x.

She tossed her phone on her desk and returned to what she was doing.

It was lunchtime before she knew it, but she'd packed herself a sandwich and a salad today, so she didn't need to leave her lair - but she'd forgotten the need for more caffeinated beverages, so she scowled at her lunch and scurried to the soda machine. She hoped that she'd be able to just get a Coke and get back to her desk, but no...

JJ sidled up and said, "So, you're -"

"Incredibly busy," Penelope said. "Working through lunch for the B Team - "

"Are you trying to avoid us?" JJ inquired.

"No, that just happens to be a side-effect of working like a dog," Penelope replied, grabbing her soda and attempting to retreat. Her withdrawl was blocked by Emily. "Guys, seriously - we can have girly chat later."

"We want the goods- what's it like?"

"Like seriously?" Penelope snapped. "It feels good and makes me happy, and quite frankly Lola can please me better than any man I have ever been with."

She turned and walked away.

Emily looked to JJ, "I think we hit a nerve?"

"I think you did, yes," JJ said. "I was just going to walk away and talk to her later, but no - you had to blunder in and make her pissy..."

"She's been pissy all day."

"I think she's allowed - especially since Morgan spilled the beans about her being in a relationship," JJ pointed out. "He's a guy: he just couldn't help himself. It's the whole 'guy wants in a threesome because two girls are making out' thing. Will's asked me about a threesome a couple of times, and I just don't think that would be any fun for me."

"From what Penelope says maybe if you tried it you would decide against Will." Emily laughed, who knows.

"I just don't think it is my style is all. Besides, I personally think Morgan is more jealous than anything, he acted the same way around Lynch, or don't you remember?"

"I try not to pay attention to Morgan." Emily said walking away.

JJ sighed and shook her head, then returned to her desk.


	3. Chapter 3

Learning Curve Part Three

"Look, I mean, you don't have to come," Penelope said. "It's just dinner and drinks with the team."

"I want to come," Lola said cheerfully. "Let me finish up this file; I'm lobbying the Senate Environmental Sub-Committee tomorrow and my assistant botched part of the file."

"Want some help?" Penelope asked. "I could probably get the info for you faster than -"

"FBI agents shouldn't lobby the federal government or help in doing so," Lola teased with a wink. "Give me five - I'm almost done, and then I'll change."

Penelope decided that she would blow their minds. She got herself into an outfit that would make the devil himself blush. Her trademarked fishnets and boots, a short skirt and a corset over a tank top which left nothing to the imagination. She checked herself in the mirror then walked out of her room.

"So, what do you think?" she asked, posing for Lola.

"Can we stay in?" she joked.

Penelope chuckled. "No, but we can make a hasty exit -"

Lola closed her laptop and grabbed her overnight bag. She passed Penelope and paused long enough to give her a soul-searing kiss that made her toes curl. "You look good, like a naughty, sexy goddess," she murmured, walking away before things could get out of hand.

When she came out of the bathroom, Lola was the antithesis of her daytime, buttoned-down corporate lawyer persona - she was in a maxi skirt and tank top with her hair up in braids, like a flower child come to life. "So, lead on to the profilers," Lola teased with a wink, relaxed and happy with a real smile on her lips for the first time since she'd arrived at Penelope's for the night. "Is there a Cole's notes version of what I should know?" Lola asked, "I don't want to appear stupid."

"Let me see," Penelope began, grabbing her purse and heading out, "Hotch is our head honcho, he is a bit stuffy, used to be a lawyer, so you should be used to that. Now Rossi, he is our Italian Stallion, and he apparently is the reason for a lot of the frat rules. Emily kinda keeps to herself, JJ is sweet and innocent, her son is my godson, Reid is the token smart guy, his is also Henry's godfather and of course you have already met Morgan, the token hottie." She smiled getting into the car, "That about sums it up."

"I didn't really 'meet' Morgan," Lola replied cheekily. "Or, rather, I didn't exactly look up."

Penelope blushed; yeah, that much was true enough. Lola was pretty shameless and didn't really give a damn what anyone thought of her outside of work - and Penelope was down with that. She was comfortable with Lola: it was easy and they both knew when to back off and back down.

That was something Kevin had never learned, nor apparently had Derek Morgan.

Penelope leaned over and gave her girlfriend a kiss. "I promise tonight will be fun," she said in a low, husky tone. "And when we get back, it'll be even better."

Pulling into the restaurant, they jumped out of the car and flooded inside. She caught her friends and joined them. They all just looked at her, never really said a word.

"Guys, I would like you to meet Lola," Penelope smiled. "My girlfriend."

Hotch was the first to react. He held out his hand to greet her.

Lola shook hands with everyone before sitting down, then she turned to Morgan. "Sorry I didn't get to meet you before, I was a bit preoccupied," she said, then sat down beside Penelope.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa - you got to meet her?" Emily said, raising an eyebrow. "You didn't say that - just that Garcia was seeing someone..."

Derek crossed his arms defensively and said, "Don't start jumping on me, Prentiss -"

Penelope blushed again, trying to avoid looking at him; she could feel the judgmental backpedaling going on from where she was sitting. "He came over and Lola and I were, well -"

"We were having sex," Lola stated matter-of-factly. "That's all - I'm sure you've all had a similar experience with someone walking into the middle of things."

JJ and Will exchanged glances. "Henry," JJ said, "all the damn time."

"Gotta love kids," Hotch added, "they need a glass of water at the most inopportune times."

"I wouldn't know." Rossi laughed, "but having a current wife catch you with someone else is not a nice thing either."

Reid just sat there and took it all in.

"What about you Derek, anyone catch you?" Prentiss asked.

Derek huffed, "I don't want to be a part of this, can we please change the subject?"

"I'm sure you've already heard all about what we do," JJ said, "so, what do you do, Lola?"

"I'm a lawyer," Lola commented dryly. "Mainly in the sense of I'm a lobbyist for an environmental affairs corporation out of California."

"Kitten, you took a step up in the world," Rossi said, tipping his wineglass at her. "I'm proud of you - lawyers are nothing to sneeze at."

"As opposed to greasy-haired computer hackers?" Penelope muttered wryly.

"I have nothing against your ex - except for the fact that he treated you badly in the end," Rossi commented. "That is tantamount to treasonous behavior in my book."

"I used to practice law," Hotch added, "before this. I think I am better suited here."

"So did you all get your start in law enforcement?" Lola asked.

"All but Penelope," Reid added.

"Oh, I knew that - she is a little wild for law enforcement." Lola laughed, "Aren't you babycakes?"

Morgan cringed; he thought for sure she was gonna say baby girl.

"My little Lolita, you make me this way for sure," she laughed.

"No way," Lola teased. "You came by this naughty streak long before I was around." She smiled around the table. "Did she tell you how we met?"

"She hasn't told us anything," Reid commented, giving Penelope a look; she knew that look and knew that she would be having words with him later.

"Oh - well, I was out with some of my work colleagues, celebrating ten more votes on HR 1987, and Penelope was there getting shitfaced," Lola said with a chuckle.

"I was not," Penelope protested with a pout. "I only had two drinks -"

"Because I took you home," Lola pointed out. She left off everything else that had happened that night - the dancing, the flirting, the wild fucking in the car in the parking lot... but the memories were enough to make Penelope flush bright red in the face and grin goofily.

"What's wrong, PG?" Emily prodded.

"Nothing." She said looking to Lola, "Let's dance."

They were on the dance floor, bumping and grinding to the music. Morgan went and grabbed a girl and followed. What they did, he did, until it got a little racy and the girl he was dancing with got a little uncomfortable with it.

After the song ended, Penelope and Lola went back to the table. "So Lola," JJ asked, "what is that short for?"

"My parents were hippies, my legal name is Sunshine Olivia Davison, so I go by Lola, much more pleasing to say." She smiled at Penelope.

"Baby Girl," Derek said, "didn't you say your parents were hippies?"

"Mmhmm," Penelope replied, smiling over at him. "I guess like attracts like in this case -"

"Not too much alike," Lola teased, giving her a quick kiss. "That would be boring."

"Garcia can't abide things that are boring," Reid interjected. "I'd advise against getting too much into a routine -"

"I like stability, Junior G-Man," Penelope contradicted.

"Stability doesn't equal boring," Hotch said.

"Why does anything have to be boring?" Penelope asked. "You can have fun with anything - believe me."

They all looked at Penelope and decided to end the conversation there. "Ready to eat?" Hotch asked.

"Indeed," Penelope agreed. She put in her order - roasted eggplant noodles with fresh green peas and mushroom cream sauce - and sat back to watch the others. Everyone else got their normal favorites, but Derek surprised her by ordering what she had, and Lola went with a safe salad and soup. That wasn't exactly surprising: Lola ate like a bunny and had the body to prove it.

She was also surprised that Derek kept watching her furtively, and would put up a blank poker face whenever she and Lola shared anything with a hint of intimacy to it.

Penelope didn't like this side of her best friend - the side where she didn't know what he was thinking.

He wore his poker face most the night, she was not able to read him at all. His words were curt and short and not a hint of flirting or sass. He watched her every move, every bite she took, he followed, but eventually they all parted for the evening went their separate ways.

"I like your friends," Lola said with a smile. "Especially Doctor Reid - he's quite personable when he wants to be, I think. I don't know about Morgan, though."

"He's just mad because I've left him out of the loop," Penelope said. "He'll get over it."

Lola raised an eyebrow. "He was almost hostile in there."

Penelope sighed. "The last case was rough -"

"You don't have to explain his issues to me," Lola said. "Let's just go back to yours and have a little bit of that fun you promised."

"I promised him I would always be there for him - when cases are hard - and I wasn't, so that may be on me... He compartmentalizes a lot and then he is hostile."

"You can't blame this shit on you, it is all on him." Lola spat, "Now were you up for fun or going to pout for the rest of the night, if that's the case I'll go and take care of myself!"

"Oh, no, I'm definitely in the fun boat," Penelope said, unlocking Esther and grinning at Lola. "Did you bring the -"

"The strap-on?" Lola interjected, grinning.

"I was going to say the - you know, nevermind."

"For being a very sexual woman, you're a prude when it comes to fucking a girl," Lola pointed out with a smirk.

"Because I was never with a girl - even experimenting - before you waltzed into my life two weeks ago," Penelope admitted. "And I'm enjoying every moment of this."

"So exactly how wild have you gotten - I mean with a guy and all?"

"Well I'm not really a prude - as you called it - I role play, a bit of Bondage, whatever feels nice..."

"Any threesomes?" Lola asked.

"Um no...why?"

"Just asking - just asking."

"I mean, three's a crowd, isn't it?" Pen asked, backing out of her parking space and putting the car back into gear. "Sex is very intimate - I'd only want to share it with one person. I'm a lot of girl to handle, you know."

"Oh, you definitely are," Lola said with a deep, sexy laugh. "And whoever has you is lucky as hell. I'm just glad it's me for a while."

"That sounds like a pre-breakup line," Penelope said, suddenly worried.

"Penelope, I know you are not a lesbian, I'm not foolish, so the fact I get to play with you for a while is great. If it goes long term, even better. But if it doesn't, I'll have the memories we made."

"But I really like you, Lola," Penelope admitted

"And I like you, but I have been through this countless times before."

Penelope sighed. "Look, I -"

"I'm the rebound chick," Lola said, "the one you run to when you're down on yourself and your relationship that's fallen apart - and that's okay. That's how I roll, apparently. I'm okay with it. I just don't want you to think that I'm not as serious about our relationship as I am. I'd like more, I'd like something deeper and forever... but there are things outside of my control. And that's how I feel about it." She shrugged. "I just have to let things hit me as they will."

"This isn't just about sex," Penelope said, shaking her head as she slowed for a traffic light. "I'm not in this for the sex - I want to be your friend, your confidant, your everything. That's what a relationship is supposed to be like, right?"

"You just got out of a four-year stint where you couldn't even stand to look at the guy at the end," Lola challenged. "So what's going to happen to us in four years? If I asked you to marry me, would you do the same thing?"

"For one thing, I have nothing against marriage -"

"Right."

"I just wasn't ready to tie myself down to him," Penelope finished.

"But will you be ready in another four years? I mean - I would like to eventually start a family and have kids and stuff? Is that what he wanted - what made you run?"

"No nothing like that at all - he wanted me to move and buy a farm - me on a farm. Picture that and you tell me why I couldn't do it."

"What about moving somewhere to settle down and have babies?" Lola interjected.

"If you want anything fun to happen tonight I would suggest changing the subject," Penelope said dryly.

"I'm just trying to gauge -"

"I'm trying to forget everything but you," Penelope murmured. "Can you just help me a little here and be my sexy, gorgeous girlfriend, please? Leave the lawyer in the briefcase."

Lola reached over and turned on the radio.

XXXX

It was damn unfair - just so damn unfair. Derek was a walking bundle of nerves and sexual frustration after seeing his Baby Girl in that outfit - and being so solicitous and sexy with some girl who wasn't worthy of worshipping his goddess.

He added another 10lbs. to his machine and went back to pumping. Something, anything, to get his mind off of those legs wrapped around his waist, her breasts ready to be -

He was so screwed.

And the idea that they'd gone home and were probably in the middle of fucking didn't help anything. He was so damn tired of being jealous. But it was his legacy - say nothing, hold back, compartmentalize, and lose the girl over and over again.

He was tired. He just wanted to get rid of all this pent-up energy; he wished he had a better route to use it in than the gym. He would be far more satisfied having a fling with someone. Nothing with strings, just sex - really good fucking and send her home.

Why did his head have to go there? Now he was back to thinking about Penelope.

A cold shower was not going to fix this problem.

He finally gave up fighting it - if he couldn't have her, just like always, he would just have to use his thoughts of her to his advantage. He put his weights away and headed to the shower. It wasn't very long before he was drowning in mental images of red lips, perky, sexy breasts just the right size for thrusting his cock against -

He was going to rub himself raw one of these days, thinking about his Baby Girl.

He tried to go to bed, sleep would not come easy. He was too busy thinking what Penelope and Lola were doing back at her place. Her head between those gorgeous thighs, then Penelope perched between Lola's... His hands went back to his hard cock. If he didn't do something soon he might not have one to use.

The idea of them 69ing, licking, sucking, moaning, panting, writhing, was enough to make him explode, spraying cum with force. He groaned. He could deal with her fucking Lynch - he wasn't attractive or anything. But Lola was different - she was pretty, sexy, a geniunely good person who deserved Penelope's affection. And that was dangerous. He was going to lose her for good and he couldn't do a damn thing about it. Lola was perfect for her.

He sighed, dried himself off and went to his bedroom. Slipping on a pair of shorts he crawled on the bed trying to get sleep to come.

He was ready to mourn losing his baby girl, he felt like he had. He couldn't compete with Lola; he felt like he'd lost and was completely defeated.

Derek woke up from his light doze to the sound of someone creeping up his steps and into his room. He wasn't worried; he knew what Penelope sounded like when she did this. She climbed into bed with him, her tears still fresh and her scent reeking of fear. He opened his arms and held her; there was no one else to comfort her nightmares.

"Shouldn't you be with Lola?" he asked.

"I didn't want to wake her up," Penelope whispered, her voice still husky with tears. "I dreamed about dying again - about being shot -"

"You are fine, baby, right here -" he soothed her. "I told you all that time ago that I will protect you every day of my life - and I meant it."

"I feel so silly," she admitted wiping her tears on her sweater .

He wiped some tears with his hands. "It's ok, really."

He turned the light on to open the bed. He tried not to look at her, the thoughts that were running through his head still were not of a PG variety, they were more Nc-17 or xxx. She was there for comfort, nothing else. He ushered her into bed beside her and held her until she fell asleep.

And he knew he'd have to explain this to her girlfriend - that wouldn't be pretty.


	4. Chapter 4

Learning Curve Part Four

* * *

Penelope let herself back into her apartment and face to face with Lola, who was bleary-eyed, naked, and holding a cup of coffee. "Where did you go?" Lola asked. "I worried and you didn't take your phone -"

"I had a nightmare," Penelope sighed, moving to the coffee pot. "I didn't want to wake you up - I know today's a big day for you."

"So you sleepwalk when you have nightmares? Is that what I am learning?"

"Oh god no!" Penelope groaned. "I don't sleep walk."

"So then where did you go?"

Penelope was silent.

"Is it that bad you can't tell me, like really?"

"I went to Derek."

Lola was silent for a moment. Then she cocked her head and said, "Did it help?"

"I went back to sleep," Penelope said, "so I guess it did."

"So I should just expect you to bolt when you have a nightmare?"

"No - most of the time, when I have a nightmare, I lie awake in bed and cry," Penelope admitted. "It's just... the bad ones, the ones where I relive getting shot... those, I need Derek to cope with. He was with me every day after I was shot - he helped me every step of the way and he promised to be there if I need him."

"So I just get to play second fiddle to Derek?"

"No, nothing like that at all."

"That's what it is sounding like to me."

"I promised him I would never stop talking to him and he promised me he would protect me every day of my life."

"I don't get it." Lola said with her hands in the air, "Maybe I just don't get men?"

"What do you mean?"

"The man is head over fucking heels in love with you, but he won't make a damn move," Lola said. "He's just sitting there, being miserably jealous because I happened to scoop you up."

"No, it's not like that," Penelope protested. "He's just my best friend."

"Really?" Lola asked.

"Really, really," Penelope said firmly.

"You don't fantasize about him fucking you?"

Penelope blanched. "Not as much as I used to," she mumbled. "I wouldn't be with you if I didn't want you, Lola - I want you and I need you."

"No more sneaking out in the middle of the night to see him," Lola warned. "Seriously - "

"No more," Penelope promised.

Lola gave her a warm, passionate kiss that tasted like coffee and honey. Penelope moaned, deepening the kiss, loving the feel of Lola's tongue stroking against hers, arousing feelings that had been dormant for a lifetime. "We have time before we have to go to work," Lola murmured suggestively, leading Penelope back to bed.

They were a frenzy of touching, thrusting, kissing, fingers and lips, pressure and feather-light strokes. But there was something missing - and not exactly talking about the lack of penis, either. It was almost like the zing was gone already.

Penelope sighed when she crawled out of bed to hit the shower, she hated to admit it but she missed Derek. She could still smell his cologne on her shirt; it wasn't that he bathed in it, but he always smelled so good. It made her shiver. Her mind drifted to him, touching, feeling, kissing and caressing. She began to touch herself whilst in the shower, before too long another orgasm rocked her body.

What the hell was she going to do now?

XXXX

She didn't have to worry too much about it. The team was gone for six weeks, and in that six weeks, almost all she did was work. She was too tired to do anything but fuck Lola and collapse into bed. And at the end of the case, she was so tired of seeing sick images and horrifying videos that she didn't even want to welcome her heroes home.

"We're going out," she announced to Lola on the phone. "Just you and me - we're going out tonight and I reserved a hotel room and I just don't give a damn. I'm so tired of work."

"What about the team, don't you always welcome them home - do your thing with them?"

"I want this to be about me and you - only me and you."

"I don't want to come between you and your job," Lola announced. "I thought you would be doing stuff with them; so when we decided to go celebrate the bill, I thought you'd be with them at work."

"Oh - "

"I could call and cancel - "

"No, don't bother, I don't want to come between you and your peeps either."

"Babycakes, if you want me to -"

"I'll just go by myself," Penelope said hollowly. "It's just... we haven't really had much time together lately and I don't want you to think you need to go hunting for new pussy already."

"I wouldn't think that," Lola interjected.

"I'd hope not, but these jobs really get in the way of relationships; I saw it with Kevin and the rest of them."

"I want you, how about I meet you after? We can compromise?"

"Sounds good."

XXXX

Penelope was all settled in watching TV when her phone went off. She assumed it was Lola, looking at the caller display she realized it was not.

"Derek."

"Where are you?" he asked brusquely.

"Does it matter where I am?" she inquired.

"You always come with us after a case - and I stopped at your place to pick you up and you aren't there." His voice was clipped and angry.

"No, you're right - I'm not," she said with a sigh. "I'm not coming tonight. Sunny and I have plans."

"Sunny? I thought you were with Lola -"

"Oh, shut up," she muttered. "Stop acting like a jealous fool, Derek - Lola and I have plans. What is your problem, anyway? You never talk to me anymore."

"I don't like being a third-wheel."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think your girlfriend is comfortable with me? Do you think she would want me to come over, cuddle with you on the sofa while she sits there munching on popcorn."

"You used to come around when I was dating Kevin."

"Lynch was different."

"How so?"

"He wasn't a chick."

"So Lola's a girl - what does that have to do with anything?" she challenged.

"I like to fuck girls, Penelope, in case you hadn't noticed -"

"Well, you know what? So do I," she said firmly. "You've changed how you treat me ever since you found out I was seeing her."

"Is it serious?" he asked. "You're not just using her to get laid?"

"It's very serious," Penelope ground out through clenched teeth. "Why do you think I'm not out with the team? Because I'm making my relationship work - unlike everyone else."

"Well, I hope it works for you, I really do - you deserve happiness." His voice was full of sadness.

"Well go out and have some fun, Mr Player. Get yourself laid," she joked.

"Naw, I'm just not into it."

"Suit yourself. I am awaiting my girl and we're gonna have us some fun."

"I'll let you go."

Penelope drifted off to sleep and woke up alone.

She checked her phone with blurry eyes (despite her glasses), and read Lola's text. x Ran into your team at the bar - Morgan had some interesting things to say. I'm on my way now. x Penelope didn't know whether to cry or call Derek and yell at him for accosting Lola.

Five minutes later, Lola was slipping into the hotel room and taking off her shoes. "Hey, babycakes," she murmured. "Sorry I'm late - the guys insisted on changing bars and we ran into your team. Did I wake you up?" she asked, taking in Penelope's disheveled appearance and the blaring TV on the news station.

"I was here all by myself, what did you think I'd be doing?"

"I don't know Penelope, you should have gone out with your friends."

"I was more interested in having 'us' time, apparently I was the only one!"

"Penelope, I like ya and all, but a needy woman is not something I can handle now or ever."

"I'm not needy," Penelope snapped. "I just thought that -"

"You just thought that you and I were going to be able to push past the obvious?" Lola shot back. "That I'm a lesbian and you would rather have some dick?"

"Why are you doing this?" Penelope asked. "Two days ago, we were happy -"

"Yeah, well, your friend Morgan? Ask him. I love you to death, Penelope Garcia, but I am not playing second fiddle to that man anymore - period. I'm done, I'm out." Lola threw her hands up in the air.

"Lola, wait." Penelope called after her. She slammed the door and kept walking.

Penelope growled, "Derek Morgan when I get my hands on you - you will rue the day you opened that mouth of yours."

She packed her things up and headed to his house, she was not going to sleep until she got some answers.

Every light in his house was blazing when she arrived and his front door was wide open - something quite unusual. She heard off-key singing somewhere and then a female giggle.

That's when she walked away and closed the door behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

Learning Curve Part Five

She carried her mug of coffee and laptop into work, brushing right past Derek with her head held high. "Pump your brakes, woman -"

She ignored him and sped up, slamming the door to her office shut right before he walked straight into it with a wounded THUMP.

"Ouch - fuck," she heard, and he was trying to open the door. "Baby girl, open this door."

"No!"

"Penelope, please open the door."

"I said no - now leave me alone!"

"You know better than that, now open this door."

"I'm done with you and your bullshit, Derek Morgan," Penelope snapped. "Did you know that Lola left me last night? Because of something you said? And then I went over to your place to find out what the fuck you told her - and you were banging some bimbo."

"Some bimbo - what? Prentiss came with me to make sure I got home okay and stayed the night because we had a little too much fun with Jose." He thumped the door. "Baby Girl, open this damn door -"

"What did you say to Lola?"

"I was drinking, Gorgeous -"

"I don't give a damn. What the hell did you say to her that would make her think that she had to leave me? WHAT DID YOU SAY?" The force, anger, and anguish in her tone surprised even her.

"Let me in, you are causing a scene."

"I don't care, what the hell did you tell her?"

"I told her I loved you."

"That's it?"

He was silent. "No, I told her if she ever hurt you I would crush her like a bug."

He heard the door unlock.

It opened and she said, "I'm really mad at you. I'm furious. I'm beyond furious. She was it, Derek - she was my One. And you just chased her away because you're a goddamn ogre. A big, stinky, hairless ogre who thinks he has to protect me from the world - and I don't need you."

"That's not it at all." He said pulling her into a hug.

"Then what is it? huh?"

"Seeing you with her hurt. She is a good person, you are a good person - I could see it being long term."

"Not now - you fucked that up!"

"Let me talk... I was slowly realizing that I didn't like Lola with you because I wanted to be the one with you. I need you, and I only just realized how much."

"You can need me all you want," she muttered, pushing him away. "But I need her, Derek - not you. You're my best friend, not my lover - you pushed away the one person I actually wanted to plan a future with. I'm done with men. Totally done."

"I'm sorry, I really am. I am a selfish egotistical pig, I'll admit that, but I love you and I can't change that."

"I want Lola," she whined.

"Then I will help you get her back."

"No," Penelope snapped. "You ruined this for me, Derek - at least let me be fucking miserable. Go away. Don't talk to me. Stay out of my life."

"Baby Girl -"

"I thought I loved you once," she said, shaking her head and backing away from him. "Now I don't know how I could have."

There was pain in his eyes, "Penelope, please."

"Just go - leave me to my misery."

"Penelope - "

"I am not telling you again, leave me alone!"

He left, tail tucked firmly between his legs, feeling like he'd just lost everything.

XXXX

It took almost a week for Penelope to get up the courage to go to Lola's, and it had been the worst mistake of her life - worse even than dating Kevin for four years. She'd already been replaced by a skinny redhead with freckles, British-style teeth, and a biker attitude.

It was hard to take a blow like that straight to the gut. She'd never thought that she'd be thrown over so completely, so soon.

Girls were so much worse than men. They got into your head, made you believe things so much more strongly... and then they fucked you over and left you for dead.

When she'd asked the very simple question, "Why?", the new girlfriend had laughed and said, "Well, maybe you would've stood a chance with her if you weren't a fat pig - and suck dick instead of pussy."

Penelope was hurt - very hurt and she wasn't sure if she would ever be the same. On route home she stopped by the liquor store and decided to console herself with a few friends, she enlisted Captain Morgan, The Russian Prince, Jose Cuerrvo and Jack Daniels. If she got to the bottom of every bottle she wouldn't feel anything, right.?

She was feeling a bit - okay, a lot - woozy when she got to the bottom of the vodka. She stumbled to the bathroom and threw up everything in her stomach, then laughed it off sadly and reached for the rum.

She wanted nothing more than to call Derek and pour her heart out - but she'd already burnt that bridge. So she started on the tequila.

The last thing she remembered was falling and hitting her head on the floor.

She woke up in a puddle of what she assumed was Tequila - or she hoped it was, she smelled like a brewery. Looking at the table there were empty bottles, that would explain the pounding in the head, all the alcohol she drank. Too bad all it did was cloud things; she could still remember how horrible her life had actually become.

She frowned and reached for her phone, blearily looking at the screen, hoping that Hotch hadn't tried to call her in while she was smashed. No, but there were a bunch of drunken texts to random people in her contacts list -

And one outgoing call.

She groaned and all but threw the phone across the room. The fact that she didn't remember calling Derek, nor the fact that she had no idea what they would've been talking about for almost an hour just mystified her.

What the fuck, Penelope - seriously, what the FUCK? Like everything wasn't shitty enough, no, you call the one person who managed to ruin everything by loving you. And what did you talk about last night? Did you spill the fucking beans? Does he still love you even though you practically drank yourself to death? When did you become such a world-class fuck-up?

"Whoa, do I need swat gear to come in here?"

She groaned as soon as she heard his voice. "Go home Morgan."

"You called me, remember?"

"No actually I don't remember. I guess my four-some with the captain, jose, jack and the prince has clouded my judgement."

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up, you smell like a vagrant."

"I don't fucking need help." she said trying to get up and falling back down.

"I beg to differ, now come on."

She swatted at his hands, starting to cry. "Stop it - stop being nice to me," she sobbed. "I'm just the fat, ugly girl who can't please anyone - male or female. I know you pity me; you don't love me. As soon as someone more your type comes around, you'll be out the door faster than Lola had her new squeeze."

"Seriously? She seriously moved on? That is harsh - even I'm not that harsh."

She nodded through the tears. "I went to apologize and she was with someone new - a tiny little red haired thing."

He pulled her into his arms. "Baby girl, I don't pity you."

"Then why are you here?"

"You called me, silly, like you always do."

"But just because I called you doesn't mean anything -"

"Baby Girl," he said softly, "you were on the phone for an hour, ranting and singing and crying and I couldn't make any sense of it. I had to come make sure you were all right, sweetheart."

"See, I'm fine - now go."

"I'm not going anywhere!"

"Derek, please - just go - let me drown my sorrows."

"I'm not leaving."

She thrust the bottle of tequila - what was left of it, anyway - into his hands. "Then you better start pouring," she said warningly.


	6. Chapter 6

Learning Curve Part Six

She woke up with the sun shining in her eyes and splayed naked on top of an equally naked Derek Morgan. What the - oh god, oh god - no no no...

Derek yawned and opened his eyes. "Did you get the number of the truck that ran me over?"

"I seemed to have missed it, handsome. But I think it backed back over me."

She propped herself up. "Do you remember anything?"

"Not exactly."

She grabbed a sheet to cover herself over. "Do you think - do you?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know."

He stood up to head to the bathroom, his tight ass bared for all to see. He bent down and picked something up.

"If this is any indication," he said holding up the unrolled condom, "it looks like we tried to have fun."

Oh god - she was definitely a world class fuck up.

"If the feeling of being well-fucked is any indication, I think we may have succeeded," she groaned, closing her eyes. "But I don't think we ended up with the condom at some point because there's a pretty big wet spot I'm lying in right now." She cringed - the last thing they'd needed was to have sex, and unprotected sex to boot. "Fuck - I'm not going to work like this."

"I already called Hotch and left a message on my way over. My conversation with you led me to believe you were in no state to go to work."

"Should I like go to a pharmacy or something?"

"For what?"

"You know, one of those pills - you know."

"No, I don't know - I am a guy, remember?"

"Morning after pills," she said. "They're like -"

"No," he muttered. "Damn it, no - did you not hear me tell you I love you, Penelope?"

"You told Lola that you love me," she snapped. "It's not the same thing."

"Fine," he said, coming back into the room, looking like the sun was killing him. "Penelope Garcia, I fucking love you - are you happy now? I love you, we fucked, you don't need a pill because I take care of my responsibilities, woman. And you are my responsibility now."

"I don't need a baby-sitter - really."

"I don't want to be no fucking baby-sitter. I want to love you, worship you, fuck your brains out until you scream - or at least remember doing it..."

"Derek, I …"

"Penelope, it's not up for argument."

"So, what, I don't get a say in my own life now?" she challenged.

"I don't remember fucking you, but I remember what you said before we made love," he said, his voice softening, losing the angry, hard edge. "You said that the biggest mistake you ever made was loving me. Let me prove to you that it wasn't a mistake, Penelope."

"Derek, all I do these days turns to shit. You might wanna run now."

"I told you i am not going anywhere. What part of 'I love you' did you not understand?"

"All of it." She was resisting the urge to sob. "No one deserves to love me."

"That's where you are wrong, I love you - always have, always will."

He pulled her into a kiss; it was a kiss that ignited fires and she could feel it all the way in her toes.

She groaned, trying to push him away, trying to run away from him, even though she knew she didn't stand a chance of getting away - he was determined. And a determined Derek was a scary Derek. She didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell.

His hands wandered over her back, lower, cupping her butt and squeezing territorially. She pulled out of the kiss with a squeak.

He was after her and took her by the hands and led her back to the bed. "I am going to show you just how much I love you."

"Derek - "

"No, hush, let me worship you the way you deserve to be worshiped."

"Too much - too soon," she protested.

"Penelope, not soon enough," he growled.

"Stop and think about what you're doing," she said, trying to lift her hands to his chest to push him away. "Please - I was just with someone, and she broke me like -"

"You were with her because I didn't step up to the plate," he said. "Because I couldn't admit to myself how I feel about you - let alone tell you."

"Derek, I was with her because I thought I loved her," she whispered. "I thought I loved Kevin - I did love you."

"You do love me," he said firmly. "I see it all over your face."

"I don't know what I love - or who," she shrugged.

"I know you love me, look me in the eye and tell me I am wrong - do it. If you can, I will leave with no questions asked."

"I can't," she admitted.

"Why is that?"

"Because I love you."

He smiled. "Now will you get over here so I can show you how much I love you?"

She said, "But -"

"Baby Girl," he said softly, "I only want to love you. I'm not asking for the world."

"You might as well be," she mumbled. "I'm fat and everyone you've ever dated was skinny and -"

"I'm not dating you," he contradicted. "I'm making up for lost time. We've been dating for years, when you think about it."

"How do you figure?"

"How many times over the years were you mistaken for my girlfriend?"

"A number..."

"Exactly. And guess what?"

"What's that?"

"I really like curves."

"There's curvaceous and then there's me," she said with a pout.

"Curvy in all the right places, goddess," he growled, pulling her back into his arms. He tweaked her butt, making her squeak again - and then he kissed her. It was like pouring gasoline on a fire.

"You don't have to lie to me Derek."

"I'm not lying. You are fucking hot, and it took all the restraint I could muster not to take you before this. Then I walked in on you all naked and spread eagle on the sofa; I couldn't sleep, damn near made myself raw."

"What?" she said.

"The night I walked in on you and Lola," he said mildly. He smiled down at her. "All I could think about was being the one between your legs, woman - don't ever doubt how sexy you are. I think about you all the time."

"You think about women all the time - and sex," she pointed out.

"No," he corrected, "I think about you all the time - and sex. But sex with you."

Was he serious? Did he always think about her? A grin was forming on her face.

"You would tire of me," she said flatly.

"Never-"

"Yes - and move on."

"No way - you have been the star of my fantasies for years, baby girl. For years!"

"You are just trying to get in my pants."

"No - I am not!"

"You've already been in my pants."

"Well, yes, okay - but I want to remember being in your pants," he said firmly. "I want it to be amazing every time we fuck - and every time we wake up in each others' arms. I want to have lots of chubby little babies with their mama's beautiful smile, and I want to know that you aren't just going to leave me and move on because I'm not the hero you think I am."

"You are too hard on yourself."

"Technically, so are you."

"Do you really see yourself settling down and having kids?"

"Only with you - no one else."

Her heart skipped a beat, then sped up. "Derek, kids are a huge responsibility and if you don't love the mother of your children -"

"Penelope, you haven't been listening," he said, gently grabbing her chin and turning her toward him. "I love you, you silly, hard-headed Baby Girl of mine. Well and truly love you - I'm not going anywhere. I'll set up a tent out on the front steps or in the courtyard if you don't believe me. I'm not here to fuck you over and leave you like you don't matter - because you do. I don't want you, Pen," he said, and her heart fell. "I don't want you because wanting implies that I'm not going to get it. I need you. You're more precious than the air I'm breathing right now, Goddess."

"I think you drank too much - are you still drunk?" she asked flatly.

"I am not drunk - mostly sober by now, actually. Why is it so hard to believe I love you?"

"Look at me: I am not exactly a prize."

"You are to me, don't you get that? I won the lottery with you 'cause after you, they broke the mold."

"They broke the mold because I was defective," she muttered.

"Baby Girl, what's it going to take to get you to believe me?" he asked. "And you're not defective. Why the hell would you think that?"

"I can't hold down a relationship, Kevin - Lola - I'm a fucking defective loser who is destined to be alone."

"I already told you I'm not going anywhere."

"Please just go," she whispered. "Go before you realize what a mistake you've made, okay? Just get out."

"Penelope, don't you think you're being a tiny bit unreasonable?"

"Get. Out." Her words were low, quiet, laced with conviction because she'd already appointed herself judge, jury, and executioner.

"No!" he said with authority. "I am not leaving."

"I don't want you here - please - just go."

"I am not leaving until I convince you I am serious."

"I know you're serious," she whispered. "That's why you have to go."

"You aren't making any sense."

"If you want to prove that you love me, leave," she whispered. "Forget that last night ever happened. Find someone that isn't going to be fucking up your life and have those babies of yours, okay? I can't be the one you want to be with because I'm not good enough."

"Penelope, listen to yourself. Do you really feel that badly about yourself? I love you, goddammit!" He looked right at her. "I don't want a life and babies with anyone else, it's you or no one."

"I will never be good enough..."

Her heart was breaking - she had to push him away before he could hurt her. But all she wanted to do was believe him; to give in to the urge to love and be loved with abandon. She was hurting so much, she couldn't take any more - pain or pleasure, either in equal measure were poisonous.

"Baby," he whispered, cupping her face in his large, steady hands, "I love you -"

"Then go," she begged. "Please. Don't hurt me, Derek - just go."

"I am not going anywhere. I am going to love you and I will prove to you that I love you, even if it takes me the next fifty years."

"I don't deserve it. Let me be here in my fucking mess; I created it, it is mine to deal with."

"Why are you so damn fucking stubborn?" he growled.

"Because that's how you survive when everything goes to hell," she exhaled, stepping away from him. "You pull your pants on one leg at a time and hold your head up and just keep going." She was shaking, her hands trembling with the force of her emotions. "I have to do that, Derek - please leave. I've asked you - I've told you - get out. Run while you still can."

"I'm not going anywhere, damn it," he repeated for what felt like the thousandth time. He sat on the bed and crossed his legs. "I am staying here until you come to your senses."

"You could starve to death," she deadpanned.

"I hope you would be nice enough to at least feed me."

"I gave you an out, why won't you take it?"

"I love you. I need you, you are my world, baby girl, my everything."

"You're insane -"

"I've never been saner," he contradicted.

She closed her eyes, trying to calm her panic in the face of the storm of emotions. "Derek -"

And then he was pulling her into his arms; she couldn't protest anymore against his persuasive argument in the form of kisses that she felt like a dagger to the heart. She tried to push him away but he was far too strong. She wanted to run and hide but the more he kissed her, the better it felt.

Before she knew it, she was kissing him back.

She wanted to believe him; god, how she wanted to believe that he loved her that way... But kisses and touching and sex didn't mean anything anymore. She'd broken that part of herself. If she fell back in love with him, not that she'd ever really fallen out of love with him, what was she going to do when it fell apart? She couldn't lose him. She couldn't lose his friendship -

She finally managed to put her hands on his chest and push him away so she could say, "We shouldn't do this."

"We already have," he pointed out. "We opened up Pandora's Box and survived."

She snorted a harsh laugh. "You survived," she corrected.

"You survived it too, you are just too damn stubborn to admit it."

"I can't do this - I can't fuck this up and lose you...I would rather just keep you as a friend than lose you completely."

"Why don't you let me worry about things for a while?" Derek asked gently. "Stop thinking so hard and let me -"

"No," she interrupted. "I need -"

"Penelope."

She pushed him away again. "Give me a week," she whispered. "If you're still willing... we'll talk about it."

"I'm not leaving. I will back off but I am not running away, not right now. I will go home tomorrow and give you a week, tonight I want to hold you in my arms while we sleep so you know that someone still loves you."

Her heart fluttered in her chest like a caged bird's wings and she couldn't help but cry.


	7. Chapter 7

Learning Curve Part Seven

They got called away on a case. Penelope was so glad that the week became a month, and then six weeks. She could avoid him for the most part - the only thing she couldn't avoid so easily was the nightly call from Derek to tell her just how much he loved her and wished he was with her.

She was stumbling back into love with him and she knew that would only lead to disaster.

The case was wrapping up, she knew that meant they were heading home, he didn't want to have to face him, she could fake things on the phone that she couldn't do with him there. She could fake she didn't love him - which was a bald-faced lie.

Her phone rang and she answered it with, "What can I do you for, tall dark and broody?"

"Go out with the team tonight when we get back," Derek said firmly.

"No can do, Sugar Smack," Penelope murmured. "I have plans that involve a bottle of advil, a hot bath and a bottle of wine."

"Penelope, it's been more than a week. I agreed to a week."

"You've been in Florida for a month," she sighed. "Don't tell me you haven't found yourself a little Latina hottie in a bikini to keep you company."

"Why would I?" he asked.

"Derek."

"That is my name," he said slightly snippily.

"I'm just tired - and there's been a stomach bug floating around here. I've caught it twice now. I just want to go home and relax tonight."

"Can I come over and watch a movie with you? I need to see you..."

"You better not, you will get sick for sure."

"Woman - I don't care if I get sick. I need to see you!"

"I'm not going to win this, so why bother asking."

"Because I don't want to just open up the door and find you spread eagle on the couch with someone," he said pointedly.

She felt a little dizzy and sick to her stomach at that statement. "Well, that won't be happening anytime soon," she commented dryly. "Because I have no one and I'm not looking for any kind of gratification, Derek. You can come over but I'm choosing the movie and the only refreshments are going to be crackers and 7Up."

"That's fine. I am happy with that as long as I can see you."

"I am going to warn you - I am NOT very good company."

"I'm good with that too."

She sighed. "I've been in and out of the bathroom all day," she said, trying to turn him off. "I didn't think I had that much in my stomach to throw up."

"Poor baby," he cooed softly. "I'll just have to tuck you up and make you feel better, then..."

"I don't deserve to feel better. I'm pretty sure this is destined to be my fate."

"Penelope, come on - stop being so negative."

"I haven't been able to keep a proper meal down in almost a week," she snapped. "Don't tell me to stop being negative - I'm miserable, Derek."

"Well, then, I'm just going to make you stop being miserable, then. Who else is sick?"

"A bunch of the techs -"

"The techs usually get food from that Chinese place on the corner, right?"

"Yeah..."

"It got closed for Health Department violations," he said pointedly. "Did you eat with them or -"

"No - I get my Chinese from Silk Road," she said. "They don't mix chicken broth in everything, so - this isn't a stomach bug?"

"Nope, bad food isn't a bug."

"There must be something going around. The tech pool is worse than daycare: if one gets sick, we all get sick. We share keyboards, ergo we share germs."

"I'll be right over - I want to see you."

She sighed: he just wasn't going to let it go. "Fine," she muttered. "I'm in my office. I'll be here for another half an hour, finishing up, and then I'm going home."

"Okay," Derek said. "I'll meet you there with crackers and soda. What do you want to watch?"

He wasn't supposed to want to comfort her when she was sick; Kevin hadn't even done that - he'd run for the hills, screaming about germs and snotty tissues. "I... " She thought for a moment, then said, "Sabrina - not the one with Harrison Ford, the one with Audrey Hepburn."

"I'll grab it on the way. Do you have a brand preference for crackers or soda?"

"Whatever is easiest,really - I'm not fussy."

"Alright baby girl - I will see you soon."

She was less than enthusiastic.

XXXX

He was waiting for her when she got home - a pot of soup was already simmering on the stove and she was relieved that there was no meaty smell in the apartment, so he'd grabbed vegetable broth. But he was nowhere to be found.

She threw her purse onto the coffee table and collapsed on the couch, feeling nauseated, miserable, and wanting nothing more than to get the hell out of her apartment just as soon as she'd entered it.

"Hey, baby," he said, coming out of the bathroom.

"Hey," she said weakly.

He hugged her gently and kissed the top of her head. "I missed you," he murmured.

"I don't know why. I am poor company."

"Let me decide. I made soup - interested?"

"I will stick to crackers - thanks."

"Well, it is vegetarian, I remembered."

"Thanks - maybe later."

"Baby, you need to eat something," he said softly.

"Being sick is good for fat girls," she muttered. "It's about the only way to lose weight without effort."

"You aren't fat." His voice was so full of conviction, she almost believed him for a second.

"Let's just watch the movie," she mumbled.

They watched the movie, his arms around her comfortingly through most of it. They paused when necessary for her to run to the bathroom and be sick - even the crackers weren't staying down now. She was not exactly in the best shape to be anyone's company, but Derek wasn't complaining. In fact, he was holding back her hair and whispering that it would be okay.

Everything would be okay if she just trusted enough in his love to give everything to him - but she couldn't trust it. If anything had proven just how transitory love was, it was her track record at relationships.

"When was the last time you had a meal, baby?" he asked stroking her hair.

"A week or two - crackers and 7-up it has been for more than a week."

"Penelope - you can't starve yourself. Why haven't you gone to a doctor?"

"Because it's just a stomach bug," she muttered. "And that last case was a doozy - I couldn't get away from the office if I tried."

"Maybe you should go to the clinic tomorrow?" he suggested gently. "They should at least be able to give you an antibiotic if it's bacterial."

She went to stand up and fell back down. "Know what - I am taking you in now!"

"Derek I'm fine - really."

"I am not taking no for an answer."

"Then get out," she snapped. "I'm fine - this is nothing I haven't dealt with before. I'm sick, not incapable of making decisions about my own health. Could you please just respect that?"

"Did Kevin ignore you when you were sick?" Derek asked.

"Yes - as a matter of fact, he did," she said pointedly.

He scowled. "I should find him and smack him."

"Derek, stop it. I'm going to bed and everything will be better in the morning," she said quietly. "If it's not, then you can worry."

"Then I am staying. I don't want to come back and find you passed out or dead."

"I think you are overreacting - "

"Maybe, maybe not, but I am staying."

She didn't protest anymore; she knew it was futile. He took her silence as acquiescence, and took care of her till her nausea finally tapered off around three in the morning. Then he held her till she fell asleep.

And she was fine in the morning - just like she'd been for the previous week.

She walked into the kitchen without disturbing him from his sleep and got herself a bowl of the cold vegetable soup he'd made. She ate it all, then went back for seconds before he woke up. "Baby Girl," he mumbled from the doorway.

"See?" she said, holding up the soup. "All better now."

"I thought you said this had been going on for weeks?" he asked confused.

"It has, yes. But I'm fine in the morning, so now let me be - I am eating."

"Baby, did you stop and think that it could be more serious than you thought -"

"Derek, shut up," she said. "I'm eating, I'm not throwing up..."

"When was the last time you had your period?" he asked suddenly.

Well, that was just a bucket of ice cold water straight to the face. She immediately went to the calendar on the wall and flipped back a month - then two. "Oh. Son of a motherfucker," she exhaled.

"Penelope - can you please talk to me."

"I - I can't."

"Penelope, please answer my question."

"Two months ago - are you happy?"

"Please answer me this - were you with anyone besides me?"

"Why would you ask that - I don't even really remember being with you."

"I just wanted to know."

"Well you know the answer!"

"I think we may require a trip to the pharmacy."

"I can't be pregnant," she began to say to herself. "I can't just be pregnant - I always take my pill, I don't want to have a baby with someone who doesn't love me..." She was in tears in a heartbeat and Derek pulled her into his arms. "No, no, no - I can't have a baby. I don't deserve it."

"Penelope," he whispered. "I love you, silly girl - and you do deserve it. You deserve someone who loves you unconditionally from the start. Someone who isn't selfish like I am."

"Oh, Derek - you deserve someone far better than me. I am trash, I don't deserve good things. You are not selfish. I try to push you away and you go nowhere - you are a wee bit stupid, but not selfish."

"Will you pacify me and take a test if I go get one?"

"I'm not pregnant - I can't be."

"Then take a test and we will both just drop it and move on."

"Fine, then will you leave me alone?"

"If that's your wish."

Derek ran to the pharmacy and picked up one of every pregnancy test and took it to ring in. He returned home with his purchases.

She was sitting on the couch, head in her hands, shoulders shaking as she cried. He dropped the bag and ran over to hug her. "Baby -"

"I know you love me," she blubbered. "I just don't want you to love me because you have to - because I'm pregnant. I want you to love me because you love me - and I don't want you to go away and find someone else."

"Baby Girl - sweetheart," he murmured, "I'm not going anywhere because all I want is you. I've said that how many times now and you still don't believe me."

"I don't deserve love, you deserve so much better than me."

He took her hand and pulled her to her feet, "Come on, let's do this, okay?"

She nodded and followed him to the bathroom.

He handed her the bag and she gaped at him. "Did you buy them out of tests, handsome?" she spluttered.

"I figured we should know for sure -"

"We only needed one, maybe two - not fifteen."

"Humor me: I've never done this before," he admitted.

She looked through the bag and grabbed three and sat them on the counter, "Can you go out for a few minutes?"

He nodded and left standing just outside the door.

"You ok in there?"

"I'm fine - almost done."

"And then what?"

"We wait," she said, opening the bathroom door and sighing. "If I am - I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm not ready for this - I always thought I'd be married before now, and that I'd be having a family with someone I love. Not... pregnant and hurting."

"If you are, I will not look away from my responsibilities; it's not my style."

"I'm not making you do anything - I just don't know if I am ready for that."

He pulled her into his arms, tight against his chest, trying to shield her from the evils of the world. "I know you don't believe me and I know you think I'm going to leave at the earliest chance, but it's not going to happen, Penelope," Derek whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I love you and I'm not going anywhere, no matter what you do or what you say. You're the only woman I've sat through this with - and for - because you're the only one who matters to me. I want those tests to be positive - because you would be a wonderful mother and I want you to be happy."

"I don't want to saddle a baby with me for a mother, I can't even look after myself."

"How long has it been?" he asked.

"About ten minutes."

"Is that time?"

She nodded, "You do it, I can't."

He went into the bathroom, looked at the three tests and exhaled. If he told her the truth, she would be upset because she was pregnant - if he lied, she would be upset because she wasn't worthy of carrying a baby, and so on. It was a no-win situation.

He walked out with as solemn of an expression as he could.

"So, what's the verdict?" she muttered.

He just passed her the three tests and sat beside her, "See for yourself."

It took a minute, but then she said, "Well, I guess I need to get in to see the doctor, then."

"Baby Girl..."

"I can't believe I'm such a fuck-up," she muttered. "I can't please Kevin because I don't love him; I love Lola and I can't please her either - then I fuck you in a drunken haze that I can't even remember and, whoops, I'm fucking pregnant."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, this is just as much my fault as yours."

"You aren't a complete and other fuck up."

"And neither are you - everything happens for a reason."

"Yeah - to prove I am a complete fuck up."

"Penelope -"

"Don't worry, I'm going to get it taken care of," she said, her voice suddenly raspy and hoarse. "Just a little time with the doctor and everything will be fine again -"

"No!" His heart hurt at the very thought that she might be seriously trying to get rid of their child just like that. She stared at him for the longest time before he spoke again. "No, don't even joke about having an abortion, Baby Girl, and please don't ever be serious," he whispered. "That's my baby in there - yours and mine."

"This kids deserves a better fate than me for a mother," she sobbed.

"You will be fine and I will be right there with you, I promise."

"It is my choice, my body."

"Maybe so," he said, "but can you at least stop and listen to me before you just - before you just waltz in there and get it 'taken care of'?" He took her hand in his and whispered, "I don't really know when I fell in love with you - only that it happened. And I don't want you to think that I'm saying this because we slept together and you're pregnant, because it's just not true."

"I don't expect you to step up, we were both drunk, it shouldn't have happened."

"Just because it shouldn't have happened doesn't mean I regret it. I'm getting older, it's now or never really and momma keeps bugging me for grandbabies."

"I don't want to be your regret," she whispered. "Ever."

"I don't regret anything but not telling you how much I love you," he said softly.

"Do you seriously want to do this? You can't be serious - "

"I am - dead serious."

"We know nothing about babies..."

"We will learn..."

"Derek - "

"Stop pushing me away," he insisted very softly. "You've done that since the beginning."

"Because I don't want to be hurt again -"

"I love you." The words were simple and so full of meaning, of what made him so him that she finally let her wall down; just for a moment, she saw everything he'd been trying to tell her.

"Derek - "

He pulled her into a hug, "Come here. It's you and me kid - now and forever."

"This poor child," she sobbed.

"It will be fine."

"Derek..."

"Are you going to be a hard-head?" he asked. "Or are you actually going to listen to me?"

"I'm... I'm going to listen," she exhaled.

"You need a doctor appointment - I'll go with you if you want."

She nodded.

"We will do this together."

"Oh, god, I hope so," she said, her voice faltering. "I can't do it alone, Derek."

"Sweet thing," he whispered, "I thought you said you were going to listen to me. I'm not leaving you because you're the best damn thing to ever happen to my life."

She wanted so much to believe him but there was that nagging feeling that the bottom was going to fall out of the bucket.

She nuzzled into his chest.

"Can I show you?" he asked. "I know you don't believe my words, but can I show you just how much I love you, Baby Girl?"

She listened to his heart beating and whispered, "You can try..."

He tipped her head and kissed her, softly at first, then deepening the kiss. "I love you - so much."

She slowly began kissing him back.

"Hey," he breathed through the kisses, "there's my sassy Mama..." He wasn't going to lie to her: he had been drunk when they'd had sex before, but he'd been haunted by flashing memories of how good it felt to kiss her - and it was god's own truth that she was fucking perfect as he remembered.

She was regaining her faith, slow and sure.

"I will show you how much I love you every day for the rest of my life."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she whispered.

"I intend to keep this one - screw the others," he growled. "This is the only one that matters, Baby Girl. I will show you how much I love you and how happy we should be."

"We don't know the first thing about a baby."

"We can learn, I know we are not the first to have a baby unplanned."

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"VERY!"

She bit her lip and whispered, "You love me like a best friend -"

"No, damn it, I love you like I've never fucking loved another human being in my life," he said forcefully. "I would give you a ring and run you off to Vegas in a heartbeat if I thought that you'd accept it - all I want is to wake up with you in the morning and to go to bed with you every night. And to be your friend, your best friend, your lover, your husband - all of it."

"You are delusional - Derek."

"No I am not, I am realistic."

"You are silly - you don't want all that with me. Why not someone else, someone more suited for you."

"There is no one better suited to me than you are," he whispered. "You make me happy when I feel like hurting the world because it hurts me. You make me smile when I know I shouldn't. You are the reason I stopped going to the clubs and the bars - I don't want anyone but you, Penelope. Lola had it right - I will crush anyone that hurts my Baby Girl." His hand slipped to her belly and rested there, hot and undemanding. "And her baby girl."

"What if it's a boy?"

He smiled and his whole face lit up. "Then we'll just have to try again."

"Wow, putting the cart before the horse?"

"Why stop at one?" he laughed.

"Cause we suck - well, I suck."

"No," he said softly. "You do not. And, you know what's sad? I said I'll crush anyone who hurts my Baby Girl - but I can't crush you. I wouldn't want to. But I do want to shake some sense into you today."

She sighed and closed her eyes. "Derek, you can't expect me to just -"

"I expect you to love me," he said. "Just love me like you loved the others - even just for a few minutes, okay? Show me what it's like to be Penelope Garcia's lover."

She curled in close to him, "Never leave me; promise me that."

"I promise, now stop being so foolish, okay."

She looked up at him, his beauty, his serenity overwhelming her. "I do love you," she whispered. "So much - so much it hurts."

"Then let me take care of you - be here for you...ok?"

She nodded.

"Now let's go cuddle and watch a movie, you up for that?"

"I thought you said you were going to show me how much you love me," she teased.

"I'm not going to push you."

"Okay," she murmured. "I do love you, you know -"

"I know," he whispered. "Movie and cuddle."

"Yeah," she agreed.


	8. Chapter 8

Learning Curve Part Eight

Actually watching the movie only lasted about twenty minutes - then she was all over him like a wildfire on prairie grass. She couldn't help it: he smelled so damn good and he was so warm and so... so... so Derek.

He could see the fire in her eyes, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Make love to me," she breathed, "make me feel loved - "

He sighed. "Baby, I shouldn't have to make you feel anything - you should always feel loved. Because I've never stopped loving you from the moment I called you 'Gomez' and you turned around and smiled at me."

"My uber handsome chocolate God," she grinned.

He took her by the hand, "Let's go to bed."

"Long as you don't plan to sleep - yet."

"Hell no," he growled, pulling her into her bedroom and taking his time with the buttons on her dress. "I don't remember much about before - but I remember it being amazing."

"Hmm?"

"You make me feel powerful, heroic," he tried to explain. "And like sex with you is the most amazing thing I've ever experienced in my life - and I don't remember much but how you moved with me."

"That's more than I remember," she pouted.

"You will remember this time - every glorious detail."

"I will," she agreed, moaning softly when he nuzzled her breasts as her dress fell open. He smiled and sucked at her nipples through the fabric of her bra - making her whimper and groan. "Why're you stopping?" she exhaled.

"To get you naked, silly."

"Let me help -" she said dropping her panties to the floor. "What about you?"

He undid his shirt and pants and both dropped to the floor. He was left in his underwear. "Let me..."

She licked her lips and exhaled a low whistle. "How come I don't remember that?" she whined, smirking a little when her tone and flattery made him rise ever more to the occasion. "Your dick is my new best friend, Handsome -"

"Woman, as long as you don't have long conversations about your feelings with my penis, it's all good," he said firmly.

"I don't want to talk to it." she laughed. "I want to worship it."

She leaned down and lightly licked the tip. He inhaled sharply, then groaned, feeling the fissures of pleasure start in his spine and work toward his groin. "Woman, this is about you - not me," he growled.

"I like giving," she said.

"Tough titties," he said. "I'm supposed to make you feel loved, remember?"

"Oh, I do feel loved - I want to love your member, then you can reciprocate."

"This is not about me, it's about you."

"I love giving head," she said. "I'd be surprised if I didn't do that when we were fucking -"

"Penelope -"

She smiled. "I'm already pregnant - there's not much more trouble I can get into."

"I want to make you feel loved."

"I L-O-V-E doing this, does that count?"

He picked her up, effortlessly - which startled her - and dropped her onto the bed. "Woman, do not push me right now," he growled.

She squealed and scrambled up on the bed away from him, but he pursued her and caught her for a wild kiss that left her wondering just how the hell he was going to top that... Then, he dipped his head and started terrorizing her breasts.

"That feels good, not normal good either - it feels better, if that makes sense..."

"I don't know woman, but you talk too damn much," he laughed.

"You wouldn't love me if I didn't," she purred, whimpering as he kissed down her body, over her belly, lower, ever lower - till he was nestled between her legs, feasting on her like she was his last meal. Heat slithered through her body like a serpent's tempting kiss, and she moaned, groaned, cried aloud when necessary - all because of him.

She did feel loved.

"Wow - that feels so - so - good," she moaned.

He just kept on with his ministrations. He began to lightly nibble on her clit and she just about bucked off the bed.

"Derek!" she shrieked.

He chuckled, the warm sound vibrating through her, meeting up with the heat and the passion and knocking her for a loop. This man really did love her - he loved her in a way that Kevin and Lola couldn't even touch. He knew her, really knew her, like the back of his hand. And he knew how to bring her to the very brink without any effort at all.

He rose from between her legs and crawled up the length of her body like a cat. He kissed her passionately, her tasting herself in the kisses.

"Ready?" he asked her.

She nodded.

"You sure?" he asked. "Because there's no turning back once I get going, Penelope -"

"Positive," she breathed, looping her arms around his neck and smiling. "I'm right where I want to be, handsome."

Lining himself he plunged himself inside her, starting off slow then quickening the pace. He switched his angle and then there was no holds barred.

She was wriggling and twisting on the bed. He lifted her legs and she locked her ankles around behind his hips, lifting to meet his thrusts with a wild savagery he finally, finally remembered. This was home - she was home, she was his everything.

He collapsed on the bed beside her, slowly trying to catch his breath.

"This is where I want to be - do you see that now?"

She nodded, unable to speak.

"I should never have pushed you away," he said softly. "I should never have pushed you into dating Lynch - or Lola. I should've just been a man and told you how I felt."

She shook her head and whispered, "I needed to be with them - to appreciate you."

Serious? Did she just compliment me?

He grinned. "I quite enjoyed myself, baby girl."

"It was fucking amazing..." she breathed, "I'm sorry I missed it the first time."

"Me too."

"We'll have to keep repeating the experience to make sure we get it right, don't we?" she said, both innocent and suggestive at once.

"We got it right."

"Are you sure?"

"We got a baby on the first try, I'd say that we did something right."

"Or so completely wrong," she added.

"Nothing wrong about it. I can't wait for little blonde haired babies running around."

"Babies?" she said, eyes widening. "Oh, please don't curse me into having twins. Or more -"

He chuckled and kissed her, pulling her onto his chest like he was her favorite pillow. "I love you, silly girl."

"Can we get through one before we decide we need more?"

"I guess, but we shouldn't waste time, my momma is getting up there in years."

She pouted. "Can we keep this to ourselves for a while?" she asked softly. "So I can get used to it? Having a baby and having a boyfriend are at totally opposite sides of the spectrum."

"Are they?" he asked.

"Yes, to me - they are."

"What about a husband: where would that fit in the spectrum?"

"What?"

"Well, it's all kinda backwards, what do you say?"

"You're asking me to marry you?" she asked, blinking up at him in shock.

"I'm asking you to share your life with me," he said softly. "Marriage is just one way to do that - and it would be better for the baby."

"So you're asking me to marry you."

"I'm asking you to marry me," he confirmed in that tender voice that meant business. "I'm asking you to be my wife, the mother of my children - because, yes, one is good but five is better - and the only woman I ever come home to."

"Five children? are you crazy handsome?"

"Would you prefer ten?"

"Um wow - where is this coming from?"

"So what's your answer?"

"I don't get a chance to think about it?"

"What's there to think about?" he asked. "Fantastic sex every day of your life, a big house full of mini versions of us, and knowing that you're loved every fucking day."

"Yesterday I was alone and sick and today I am pregnant and now you want to marry me too. It's a lot to take in."

"Penelope, what's to decide? Don't I make you happy?"

"Yes."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes."

"Then what's the issue?"

"What happens when you find someone else?" she asked, her voice tiny.

"Never gonna happen. I've got my perfect match."

"I'm Mrs right now, not Mrs long term."

"Dammit Penelope, I only want you, so yes or no?"

"What if I say no?"

"Then I'll wait till tomorrow and ask again - and I'll keep asking till you say yes," he said, looking at her like a puppy dog.

She sighed. "Derek -"

"Penelope, I swear to god, I haven't looked at another woman in months," he said earnestly. "I've been choking the chicken and thinking about you. I've been rubbing myself practically raw because all I wanted was you - and now that I have you, you're crazy if you think I'm just going to let you walk away."

She laughed. "That is a sad, sad picture handsome."

"So say yes then."

"Fine, yes - do we have to do it right away?"

"No," he replied with a smile. "But you do have to move in with me."

"Not till we know for sure that this is going to work," she said softly. "I don't want to have to just move back out again."

"Then I'll move in here," he said.

"No pets," she reminded him.

"Well - then -"

She looked at his face and sighed. "Okay, fine - I'll move in with you."

"Great - my momma's coming to visit in a couple of weeks, so -"

"Oh, no," Penelope groaned, facepalming. "Your mother is going to hate me."

"My mother will love you."

"I doubt it."

"My mother has listened to me going on and on about you for years, she already likes you and the fact that you are now the housing for her first grandbaby from me makes you all the more special."

"But I was stupid and -"

"Baby Girl, you listen to me - you are not stupid. You think with your heart, and I love that about you, so very much." He kissed her forehead. "I want you to stop beating yourself up about things that have happened in the past and look ahead to the future, okay?"

"It's hard - I am so scared to repeat all over again all the mistakes I have made."

"We will get through it, okay?"

"You promise?" she whispered. He nodded and held her closer.


End file.
